365 Days Later: Reflections On Working From Home
If you’re wondering, I kept my New Years’ intention of accepting the love I think I deserve pretty well. I’m not even mad at myself for not writing a blog in February, as also intended. That’s progress for this recovering perfectionist. I had a moment this morning that inspired a new blog for March, so here we are.
This morning, my Facebook memories reminded me that on this very day last year I started working from home due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This makes 365 days of working from home since I’m still not back in the office. Working from home for me means seeing all my clients virtually via a secure telehealth platform. It means no morning commute, wearing pants with an elastic waistband and no zipper more days than not if I’m being honest, and the happiest dogs in the world. Working from home was never something I wanted to do, and it was a difficult but necessary choice for me to protect myself and my clients. The choice to work from home is a privilege I don’t take for granted. In this year of working from home, I’ve learned some interesting things about myself and have experienced some difficulties I want to share in the hopes that my struggles might help you, too.
Before March 2020, I had never done a single telehealth session. I had to learn practically overnight how to move my entire practice online. This transition required adaptability that doesn’t always come so naturally to me. I like to know what to expect and have trouble with change sometimes. I’m a Capricorn and a Type 3 on the Enneagram. We can be rigid, so I’ve been told by the air signs I know.
Working from home during the pandemic led to extending my newfound adaptability to other parts of my life: wearing a mask in public, seeing my friends and family via FaceTime or Zoom instead of in person, making less frequent grocery store runs to limit my exposure to the virus, watching concerts and live streams by my favorite musicians on YouTube when several shows I had tickets to were canceled, and planning international trips I’d take when it was safe to travel instead of actually taking the trips I’d already planned. Being more adaptable, albeit against my preference at times, isn’t always easy. When I’m struggling with accepting a reality that requires adaptability, I ask myself these questions:
What can I change about this situation?
Who will be hurt if I don’t adapt?
Is being adaptable about this temporary or permanent?
These questions help me get perspective so I can use the skills I need to accept reality if doing so will give me peace. Another thing I’ve learned about myself and struggled with is that without the noise and distraction of my normal life before the pandemic, i.e. going out with friends, traveling, and moving about the world without fear of getting sick, I was left with my own thoughts and a lot of restless energy. This has been a common experience for extroverts like me when we are more socially isolated than normal. I’ve channeled this energy into projects such as clearing out things I needed to get rid of, organizing my belongings, and redecorating my house. Some days, that’s enough to calm my brain down. Other days, it’s just not. On these days, I have to practice being mindful of what I need and what my body and soul are asking for.
Mindfulness can look like:
Doing one thing at a time (i.e. eating a meal without a screen in sight)
Grounding with five senses (i.e. naming things you can touch, see, hear, smell, and taste)
Moving your body for joy (i.e. taking a walk, preferably with dogs [per my dogs], and bringing your mind back to the present moment when it wanders as it is likely to do)
Listening to a mindfulness meditation
Practicing breathing exercises while trying to fall asleep
These moments of being more mindful have allowed me to de-stress when I’ve had too much screen time from telehealth and am feeling overwhelmed by the weight of this world. The most important thing, though, I’ve learned while working from home is patience. If my mom is reading this, she’s laughing right now, as she’s who I call when I’m feeling less than patient. And still. I know I’ve improved my patience, because I wanted to go back to the office last May and could have done so. I didn’t. I waited.
I waited for a vaccine, and it came.
I got fully vaccinated and waited for my friends and family to get vaccinated, too.
And it’s happening.
I’ve also gotten better at waiting for packages and food deliveries to arrive, as I’ve had tons of practice with both the last 365 days. It counts!
We are all waiting for this pandemic to end. And it will. We must be adaptable, mindful, and patient with each other and with ourselves as we adjust to a new normal, again. And one day soon, I will go back to the office. I will sit across the room from my clients and help them do the hard work of recovering and healing. While I don’t predict I’ll miss working from home, I will take with me all the things I learned during the last 12 months. I might also need to take my dogs with me, as they’re going to have a major issue with their new normal of being home alone again. Maybe I’ll model some adaptability for them by taking them to day camp to make new friends. If only they’ll be patient waiting for me to come home.
